By Christopher Moore
Charlie Asher is common man with a typical existence, married to a vibrant and beautiful girl who truly loves him for his normalcy. They're even approximately to have their first baby. sure, Charlie's doing okay—until humans commence losing useless round him, and in all places he is going a depressing presence whispers to him from less than the streets. Charlie Asher, it kind of feels, has been recruited for a brand new place: as demise.
It's a grimy task. yet, good day! Somebody's gotta do it.
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Additional resources for A Dirty Job: A Novel
Suddenly there’s a development of ninety-six executive retirement homes in the old orchard behind the village green. A business park springs mushroom-like out of the ground where a minute ago there were only cows. Cars sprout up beside the highway like newly sown dragons’ teeth. The handpumps in the public bar turn seamlessly into plastic boxes, and three racks of videos parthenogenetically appear in the window of the post office. We warned you; this is not a sight for the squeamish. It’s enough to make Stephen King sleep with the light on for a week.
So long, birdbrain. ’ Standing on the empty plinth, the pigeon watched until George disappeared through the pub doorway, still rehearsing his line. It waited for a while. Then it preened itself. Then it started to peck at a cigarette butt. Two minutes or so later, the whole incident had been edited out of the active files of its mind and was held in limbo, awaiting deletion. And then... The pigeon looked down. It was, once again, standing on a statue. Vaguely, it recalled something it had learned recently about statues.
Mr Kortright pursed his lips. ‘Well,’ he said, ‘like I say to all the kids just starting out in the business, when you’re trying to make your way, sometimes you’ve gotta do things you’d rather not. ’ ‘Shucks. ’ He peered at the screen. ‘I can get you six weeks’ volcanic activity in Hawaii, covering for the local fire-god while he takes his kids to Disneyland. ’ ‘Sorry. Got to be in this country. ’ ‘Please yourself. Gonna be difficult, though. ’ ‘Hallucinations. For health-conscious druggies. All the weird visions without actually taking the drug.
A Dirty Job: A Novel by Christopher Moore